Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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