That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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