yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
