Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
