Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
