What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
