That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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