I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.