Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I want to snug with you.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You want my snuggie?

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  (248): I want to snug with you. (1-248): You want my snuggie? http://tfl.nu/npap
  Replies (4) Good night (1393) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (148) Good night (7502) Bad night (70105)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.

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  (610): then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer. http://tfl.nu/jb6y
  Replies (21) Good night (1213) Bad night (3972)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

  (1-845): View more from New York

  Who won mens moguls?

  (845): View more from New York

  That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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  (845): We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously? (1-845): Who won mens moguls? (845): That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude. http://tfl.nu/8mik
  Replies (63) Good night (6767) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris

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  (905): She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris http://tfl.nu/nmbr
  Replies (43) Good night (8918) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.

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  (904): I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers. http://tfl.nu/cp6l
  Replies (31) Good night (5830) Bad night (1928)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

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  (330): Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her? http://tfl.nu/1j07
  Replies (12) Good night (4372) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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  (256): I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly. http://tfl.nu/2jju
  Replies (9) Good night (2603) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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  (416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i
  Replies (6) Good night (2246) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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  (507): currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing. http://tfl.nu/nh19
  Replies (9) Good night (1898) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Show him your tits if he says no

  (1-209): View more from California

  They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.

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  (209): Show him your tits if he says no (1-209): They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits. http://tfl.nu/0j62
  Replies (8) Good night (2134) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.

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  (303): What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad. http://tfl.nu/nd1v
  Replies (12) Good night (2267) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.

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  (312): You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on. http://tfl.nu/wd3p
  Replies (5) Good night (1185) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch

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  (518): Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch http://tfl.nu/1zpa
  Replies (2) Good night (362) Bad night (510)

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