just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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