y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.