yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
There's always time for handjobs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence