so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
