he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
