i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
