Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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