I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
