Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
