if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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