hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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