so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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