I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
