yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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