Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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