What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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