In the future we'll all be gay
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
