yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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