Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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