I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
