it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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