Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize