Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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