Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
