i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
