Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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