no, he came in my armpit
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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