Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
