I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize