How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
