party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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