Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
