hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize