big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
