Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We have so much sex to catch up on
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
