2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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