meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize