Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
