I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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