I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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