I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
