if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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