3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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