After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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