Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
