He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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