actually, I'm a sock model
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
