Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I only lived at night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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