He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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