she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
