Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
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i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
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You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.