How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic