I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?