Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH