dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor